Saturday, August 4, 2012


I never meant to leave my blog for this long but time and work just got the better of me. I had some very interesting news to share about six months ago, and I'll attempt to do so now instead.

On Valentine's Day, I was met with quite the surprise. My husband offered me some parcels, and what did I find! Ropes! Now my middle name is not "Kinky"! However, in a couple of educational TV shows back home I'd seen some Japanese style bondage and I had a very strong feeling I'd enjoy it. What struck me at the time was that it wasn't about domination as much as a very profound sense of submission and letting go that I would call an experience of a spiritual nature. Japanese bondage also seemed quite clean and natural as it uses ordinary ropes, and at least in my mind it had nothing much to do with SM. I had mentioned this to my husband at some point and the man he is, he had retained this in his memory (he might forget about other things but anything to do with sex he will remember!). 

The book by Midori that explains how to do it was included, and just looking at the images got me excited then and there. Luckily, we had time to experiment the very same day and my husband was astonished but also quite pleased that I was into it right away. He's not kinky either but really liked what this was doing to me and fully understood why. I experienced that blissful feeling I had imagined all those years ago. It was truly heavenly and I was sure we had found a "philosophers's stone" that would help us have a more exciting sex life. Had I written my blog back then, I would have said I had found the ultimate answer. 

However, life is complicated and it wasn't the ultimate answer... in fact, as we tried it a few times afterwards, as well as a few weeks ago, nothing much happened to me. It was very embarrassing to have to concede defeat after all the trouble my husband went to tieing me up, but luckily he's a of a fastidious nature so he didn't mind. He chucks it down to experience... Was it a one-timer? I honestly don't know. I feel that one day the time will be right for this experience to be renewed, but I might have to wait. Meanwhile, I'm experiencing a very erratic sex drive which could have something to do with the fact that I'm perimenopausal, but curiously, things did get better after that Valentine's Day six months ago. 

Who said that sex would decline after two years of marriage? In fact, our sex has gotten more intimate and mature. It involves deep feelings of trust and fondness. When it works, it works pretty well. There have been times when I've been able to have two "sessions", i.e. two orgasms in one evening or late afternoon. Usually I'm not able to deal with two penetrations due to soreness but the second time one can resort to toys in conjunction with fondling.

I started taking Maca powder for increased energy in the springtime, and it seemed to deliver what it promised; an increasing interest in sex. I was also eating a lot of nuts and seeds, as well as Goji berries, at the time. However, I stopped seeing any benefits a couple of months ago... so who knows? Some people seem to think that there is a danger in taking too much too soon, so I will take a break from it. I have been quite depressed over the last couple of months, whether it's due to the Maca powder or just my typical summer blues when I wish I could enjoy life more than I do, I don't know for sure.

If you're interested in attempting some Japanese bondage, I have to warn you that it could be difficult if you have trouble staying in one position for very long. Bondage takes practice and patience - your partner won't be able to do it very quickly at first. The images in the book I mentioned aren't very clear and so it takes some trying... I personally don't have any other great issues except that it's hard for me to keep my hands tied behind my back for more than a short while. We simply have to keep the next to the legs. A little creativity goes a long way but obviously, you need to know the basics before you can do that. If you're worried about scratching, I'd say that's part of the endorphin-enducing experience, but you have to make sure it's not too tight for you or you'll suffer from "burns". There are "matter of fact" style instructional videos by Esinem that you might like to check out - it looks so very zen. You also need to invest in good quality ropes, but not all of them have to be from specialist shops online. My husband got some of them from an ordinary DIY store.

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